Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Happy St. Patty's Day! We spent the holiday park-hopping. The desert in early spring is so beautiful...MUST take advantage of it while we can still be outside sans pool. The day became even more "green" when Gracie suggested we collect plastic bottles and recycle them. We have to keep our Earth healthy, Mom. "Green"...get it?!

Thoughts at bedtime

I live for these moments when the mundane is suddenly transformed into something much greater.

After a day full of activity, when I am exhausted and ready to be alone, I can't say I look forward to the bedtime routine. I know I'm supposed to enjoy every moment with my children, but some nights, it seems it take forever to clean up toys, take baths, read books, brush teeth, sing lullabies, etc., especially when I am on my own with them all day/all night. Yet although the bedtime drill may seem uninspiring at times, I do believe there is a silver lining to it all, as I've repeatedly experienced some of the sweetest mommy/daughter moments at the end of this routine. Tonight as I sat on Kate's bed, gently brushing the hair off her face with my hands, she entered into a reflective conversational mode, asking sincere questions and sharing thoughts, important to her at this sweet time of innocence. She wanted to know if the shows on Noggin were for babies. This was important to her because she likes them and she is not a baby. I told her they were for anyone who enjoyed them which seemed to be good enough for now. She was also worried about being able to remember all the words when she is in the play Annie someday. I assured her that she would do fine because she has a fantastic memory and would have lots of opportunities to practice. This eased her fears and I could see her little furrowed brow relaxing. At the end of our chat, she asked, "Mom, why did you stay and talk with me so long?" I told her I enjoyed chatting with her. She thought for a moment and said, "Wow Mom, we get along really well." And with those words, I could feel the tears in my eyes.

I don't think I can accurately describe why I'm emotional about my babies these days; I know it involves how quickly it seems time is passing...how they are no longer babies. With Kate tonight, it was as if I sensed this little person entering into a transition stage, a time that I want to embrace but leaves me somehow nostalgic for the days of complete innocence when thinking something might be too babyish would never have entered her mind. And her little anxieties that seem so cute (like not being able to remember all her lines in a nonexistent play) have hints of perfectionist tendencies which are very familiar and trigger some anxiety within myself because I'm not sure I'm the best person to help her deal with it all. Or maybe I am since I can relate. I feel privileged that she can share her thoughts with me and that she thinks "we get along really well." She just sounds so grown up saying such words. Despite how quickly she seems to be maturing, I take comfort in that which is constant, the unconditional love I feel for her. I will always strive to provide the best guidance I can for her wherever she may be in life. I hope we will always"get along really well". I think she is an extremely intelligent, expressive individual with a beautiful spirit and am so thankful we are together.

After my chat with Kate, Gracie asked to be rocked. Kate no longer asks for this little indulgence so I cherish every rocking moment with Grace until she no longer needs them. During this time, I was once again reminded how very different these identical twins are. Grace is very much in the moment which seems to produce a lot of random thoughts...at least they are random to the rest of us. As we began to rock, she wanted me to tell her how she broke her collar bone at 2 1/2. She then caught sight of the lights from passing cars and proceeded to follow them along the playroom walls with her eyes. She was then back to the collar bone, wanting more details about that incident. Then, in her signature Gracie voice she said, "I love my family," something she repeats often these days, almost as is she's reminding me how important it is for her that we are a strong unit. I think despite her random, carefree behavior, she is very perceptive, though not always able to express what she is sensing. She has always been sensitive to others' feelings and will often begin to tear up when someone in the room is sad or extremely happy. It's like she is a magnet for other people's emotions. She is nurturing and empathetic. She is completely full of joy and enjoys being 5. The thought of something being too babyish doesn't cross her mind yet and I'm not sure it will. I don't see her as affected by the social world around her; it's almost as if she has a deeper connection, like she knows where she is from and is happy to experience this world as she is...doesn't feel the need to change for others. I hope her little light continues to shine brightly and that she remains unaffected by the opinions and pressures of others. She is a true inspiration and I am so incredibly honored that I have this time with her. I feel I have a lot to learn from her.

After a few minutes, Gracie's chatter ceased and we continued to rock in the playroom, my arms wrapped around her growing body. From the bedroom, we could hear Kate singing "Maybe" from Annie. As she got to the end of the song I was overcome with emotion again feeling the familiar, "I want them to stay this age forever" feeling. It's these precious bedtime moments, moments of complete awareness and acceptance, that I hope will remain in my memory. I don't think I will choose to remember the nagging to clean up and get jammies on part of the routine.

Gracie's Tooth

Gracie lost her first tooth just a few short weeks after her sister. She wouldn't let us touch it while still loose in her mouth. Yes, that little tooth held on until the bitter end, finally falling out during breakfast. I was getting ready to take the girls to preschool when she came running into the bathroom hysterically screaming, holding the little treasure she had rescued from her mouth before it was swallowed with pieces of banana. She was completely overjoyed by what had happened. Gracie, like her sister, has not turned over the tooth to the fairy yet. The consensus at this time is that they will wait until they both lose two teeth and then give the fairy all 4 at once. They always seem to make their own rules for these traditional practices which keeps things interesting around here. Here is Gracie in the summer 2004 showing off her bottom baby teeth. Congrats my baby girl!

When I grow up...

Gracie's aspirations at 5 years old:

I'm going to be a healing doctor for big people and little kids AND an artist who paints pretty pictures.



















Kate's aspirations at 5 years old:

On Monday, I'm going to be a dentist.
On Tuesday, a doctor.
On Wednesday, a teacher
On Thursday, I'm going to be "Dorothy" in a show.
On Friday, I'm going to be "Annie" in a show.
On Saturday, a model.
On Sunday, a dancer on Dancing with the Stars.

And...

When I'm 20, I'm going to be an artist.
When I'm 21, a girl builder.
When I'm 22, a ballerina teacher.
When I'm 23, a conductor on a choo choo train.

Princess Etiquette

According to Kate and Gracie, princesses dance and sing prettily. They hold teacups properly, with their pinkies sticking out. They are kind and glittery and all "beautifulness". Princesses never trip or fall or burp or fart or slip or sneeze. Now that we have that straight, let me fill you in on the latest.

We've been a bit more princess obsessed around here the past few days. If you were to enter our house at this moment, you'd probably see a slew of glittery tiaras and sparkly wands strewn about...plastic heels and beads too. So what has brought on this royal resurgence? It started Saturday when Gracie and Kate attended their friend Hava's 6th birthday at Sweet and Sassy. The name says it all. Someone had a pretty darn good idea to create a salon for little girls, a place where they can go to receive the royal treatment just like their high-maintenance moms! But wait, not only can these little ones go to this magical place for junior salon services, they can also have dress-up birthday parties there with all their friends! Brilliant! And I must say this, though I know it's entirely redundant, Why didn't I think of that?
Both girls were definitely in their element, picking fancy princess dresses and opting for princess hair as opposed to rockstar. They learned how to model their new look on an in-store runway as the announcer shared pieces of information about each girl. It went something like this:

Next we have Kate. [Applause] Kate's favorite place to shop is at the toy store. Her favorite celebrity is Snow White and her favorite movie is Snow White.


Next is Gracie. [Applause] Gracie's favorite place to shop is at the toy store. Her favorite celebrity is Ariel and her favorite movie is The Little Mermaid.

After the fashion show, the girls learned a special "sweet and sassy" dance to the tune of YMCA. The party concluded with cake and a Conga line. What a fun time! Did I mention we will most likely be having the girls' 6th birthday there?

Kate's Tooth

Oh my, it really happened. Kate's front bottom baby tooth, the one that first made an appearance on March 30, 2004 when Kate was just 6 months old, has fallen out! I am looking at it right now as it rests in a ziploc baggie on my desk, awaiting the arrival of a proper tooth pillow (which has been ordered) all fancy and girly. We noticed it was quite wiggly a week prior to its falling out but Kate was a bit hesitant to pull it herself...I will miss my tooth, she whimpered. On Saturday night, the tooth was barely hanging on; Kate was able to push it completely forward with her tongue...ew! Shawn was afraid she would swallow it while sleeping, so with his persuasive Daddy ways, he convinced her to let him pull it. Oh, and there was blood which I don't think she expected. But the moment was too exciting to let a little "bleed" (as she calls it) get in the way.

Above is the first picture I could find with her little teeth popping through on the bottom; Gracie's are there too. Kate is on the right in this picture. The girls got most of their teeth within days of each other, just another reason that made me think they were most likely identical. It might seem strange to others that I would even question their zygosity, I mean look at them, but I was told they were fraternal and there were definitely subtle physical differences between the two. The order and timing that their teeth came in was not one of them though.

Here she is a couple months later....much better view of those two bottom teeth!



So farewell little baby tooth and thank you. You served your purpose well and have now made way for the permanent one we see popping through.

We're going to the zoo, zoo, zoo

How about you, you, you?
You can come too, too too.
We're going to the zoo, zoo, zoo.

I've been singing this song to my girlies since they were just babes and they have definitely had plenty of opportunities to make the song a reality with our Phoenix zoo membership. We do renew every year but with the girls in preschool 3 days a week, and with my distaste for weekend trips there (don't like crowds) we haven't visited our animal friends in awhile. A trip was in the cards for many reasons such as: a) beautiful spring-like weather, b) a completely cleared schedule...wow...and, c) maintaining mom's sanity...yes I have two 5 year olds who have somehow managed to channel the inner 2-year old within and are thus temporarily unable to entertain themselves at home. Oh yes, a stimulating day, one in which mom didn't have to play Go Fish, or clean up or do dishes afterwards, was oh so needed!

And the day was lovely indeed. Kate saw her favorite zebras. Gracie saw the giraffes, flamingos and elephants, all of which she consistently names as her favorites...I even overheard her listing them as so to the dental hygienist at her last cleaning. I was happy to see baby Kasih, the almost 3-year old orangutan who we've visited since her birth, seem to enjoy the laughter that resulted from her silly behavior. We took the paddle boats around the lake, rode the safari train, and visited the stingray exhibit where Kate got drenched by a sea creature and had to change her clothes.

The important observations I made on this trip though did not involve the actual zoo animals but rather my own little monkeys . My two babies, the ones I used to push around the zoo in a double stroller while having to stop constantly in order to monitor snacks & sippy cups, change diapers, pacify with ba, etc., have become real little people with inquisitive minds and questions for which I don't always have the answers. As I observe the development of these rational minds, I am amazed and hopeful. I hope they will continue to question until they find answers that make sense to them. I hope they will make good choices by balancing this new intelligence with their always present intuition. And most importantly, I hope that with this developing new intelligence they never lose the magic and peace they experienced the first time they visited the zoo and looked at the animals, animals that were not all named and classified in the mind of an 18-month old, but rather experienced in the present... exactly as they were in that moment...exactly as they always will be.